Getting Out of My Own Way

I am not someone who would ever be described as fearful or easily discouraged, however, when I think of sending out query letters to potential agents I feel a level of anxiety I haven't experienced since I took Calculus as a freshman in college.  I can at least justify my dread of Calculus.  I wasn't allowed a graphing calculator, so I was flying solo with only my flapping arms keeping me in the air rather than the super sleek jet I had anticipated having with me.  I would have you know that I did not fail Calculus.  I did not get an A either, but I made a grade that was sufficient to let me to mark it as complete and advance to the next hurdle. 

In telling that story I can only assume that I am supposed to walk away with the life lesson that I overcame adversity in an area that I was only barely competent in, how much better should it be for something I truly care about and enjoy?  Due to my complete lack of attempts to actually wade into the big world of editors, agents, and publishing houses, I cannot answer that question.  I cannot even show you a rough draft of my first attempt at a query letter.  I have googled query letter templates and how to sites more times than I can count, and yet I am still staring at that same blank piece of paper.  I get caught up on the little things.  "Hook them with a great one liner that sums up your whole book!" One sentence to sum up 65000 words, feelings, and emotions? Sure.  I got it.  I have about 20 hook attempts regarding my first book, Growing Up in the Shade, but I am just not sure any of them have the necessary grab you right out of the gate quality that they need.  Some are close, however, so I have pushed forward into the second paragraph... the mini-synopsis. 

I actually feel decently confident in my mini-synopisis, but that in itself makes me wonder if I am missing something.  Who actually hits the mark their first time?  Granted I have made a few edits to it over time, but still.  It's basically a first draft.  Pretending that the mini-synopsis is just what the doctor ordered, I turn to the next section and basically stop. Writer's bio?!  Seriously?  Doesn't the book speak for itself?  It's fiction after all.  It's not like I just wrote a book on brain surgery strategies and expect it to be adopted as the new doctrine for the whole of the medical community.  It's fiction which is made up, or I obviously missed the day in school when they clarified that common misconception. 

The only comfort I find in the Writer's Bio section is the guidance I came across during one of my "how to" google searches. 
This [the Writer's Bio] should be the easiest part of your query. After all, it’s about you, the writer. Okay, so it’s a bit daunting, especially if you’ve never been published, never won any awards, hold no degrees from MFA writing schools, and possess no credentials to write your book. No problem. The less you have to say, the more space you have for your mini-synopsis. Always a plus.

 After reading that, how can you not have the shortest section ever?  "I have a love of the written word, and while I don't have any formal training, I read a great deal and try to write about things I know, or if I don't know them I research them in order to make the story as believable as I possible can.  I have won/placed in essay writings contests while in college and grad school, and have been published in a local magazine as one of the writers of a multi-authored piece."  The magazine is called Georgia Magazine and I described one of the days we experienced during a week-long all-expenses paid trip to Washington DC for students selected by local power cooperatives.  It might not be Time Magazine, but it wasn't a bad first step. 

And now back to the matter at hand! (My apologies for that slight tangent into my illustrious print career.)  Once the humbling experience of the Writer's Bio section is complete, only the conclusion is left.  Yes!  Finally a section I can handle!  I can and do say thank you for people's time and help all of the time, so I should be able to handle that part.  AND then all I have to do is tell them that my manuscript is available upon request.  Since it's finished that's something I can do, too!  Hot dang, the conclusion might be my best section, well hopefully not, but it is the section I feel most confident about completing.  

Now that I have expressed my anxiety over the letter itself, I don't even want to think about waiting for a response.  Fortunately, I have seen from all of the googling I have done that you are not successful tons of times before finally reaching someone who is interested.  I am of course assuming that someone will eventually find it interesting, otherwise what's the point of doing any of this? 

Here's hoping!  I plan to actual write my query letter this weekend and send out at least one before Monday morning comes.  Keep your fingers crossed, and wish me luck in the face of fear, panic, anxiety, and ultimately, insecurity!

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